Terror in the Streets! The Evils of...Country Music!!
"HOW DARE HE! THAT FIEND OF FIENDS, THAT RENEGADE OF THE STREETS, THAT, THAT INSUFFRABLE SIMPLETON!!!" These are the least of the insults directed towards Zack Lavington, a 38 year old male living in the small state of Idaho. He was last seen being forcibly removed from his car and arrested for "disturbing the peace". According to the accounts of local residents, he was "blasting the most heinous of musical genres out there". This musical genre being that of Country, probably the MOST feared genre ever created, for it's hypnotic rythms that easily return people to their rural heritage. More than two hundred people have called in, saying that their neighbors are turning their cars into tractors and milking the...mailbox. With fear in their hearts, public officials are frantically attempting to throw together a new bill that will ban Country music throughout the entire state. May this be a lesson to all those reading this. Country music can and WILL destroy your "city kid" ways. Listen to your music with the utmost caution!
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