Hate Letter

So, today we have to write a hate letter to our "enemy". And by enemy, I mean the things that keep me from writing like I should be. So here's my letter of hatred and what not.

Dear all of you,

I hate you with a flaming passion. It's because of you pathetic excuses (and I mean this quite literally) that I can hardly get my crap written. Because I don't want to waste my time by further writing to you bastards, I'm going to list off my complaints about each of you.

The Perfectionist:

I fugging hate you. You and you're godforsaken "Oh please. Nobody will want to read this piece of shit. Hell, my shit is better than this shit."

Let's see you spend hours trying to write a story that you constantly have to revise. You just need to get the hell out of my zone, and go back to the piece of crap corner you live in.

The Victim:

I cannot express to you the importance of this statement.
"YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO WRITE ABOUT YOUR LIFE EXPERIENCES."

Jesus. You're annoying as f*** to deal with. So just go and cut yourself somewhere else. Kay?

The Talker:

YOU RUIN MY DAMN PLOT. SHUT THE F*** UP, AND GET THE HELL OUT.

The Critic:

If you know so much about writing, then why are you focusing on the writing of a 15 year old?

The Judge:

My family and friends can handle themselves without me there every second. If you care so much, go help them yourself.

Last but certainly not least,

The Procrastinator:

F*** YOU. Okay?

You've ruined my 4.0 GPA. I want to kill you. In fact, I'm going to kill you. In your sleep. You're getting the f***ing horns bitch.

Enjoy your last night, you bastard.


Love,
Alex

P.S. LEAVE ME ALONE.